Spring Blog
A few years ago, I received a call from my Dad about a house that had come available down the street. We had recently sold our previous home and we’re just settling into our rental. It was a small cottage on the beach, something we’d dreamed of living in before we had kids and bought our forever house. So I thanked my father for thinking of us but kindly declined. ‘Besides,’ I told him, ‘you’d hate having me as a neighbor.’ My Mom pointed out that my father and I got along wonderfully. I reminded her that was likely because we weren’t neighbors!
Of course the conversation didn’t end there. It came up just about every time we saw them. So I finally relented and agreed to see the home with the full disclaimer that we weren’t in the least bit interested.
When we finally walked through the house, we liked it, but not nearly enough to move. But I couldn’t help thinking about how neat it would be to have grandparents five doors away when we eventually have kids. And my mom committed long ago that she would never live with me when she needed care. She complains that, “I think I know what’s best for her!” That said, the next best thing would be to have them as neighbors.
It’s not lost on me that I lead a very charmed and blessed life. One of those blessings being how close I am, emotionally and in proximity, to my family. We work with a lot of families who are caring for people far away or who need care and don’t have support nearby. These cases are particularly challenging because of how much goes into finding the right care. There are things to consider like cost, the amount of care needed, personality fit of the caregivers. But most importantly, it’s crucial to find trustworthy people to let in at such a vulnerable part of someone’s life.
And it doesn’t end with just the care. We’ve found, over the years, that there’s a direct correlation between someone’s happiness and the strength of their support and social system. Without the built in support system provided by family, one has to make the conscious effort to keep up their social network, usually, right at about the time when they don’t want to. Having a good support system is critically important to the well being, physically and emotionally, of a retiree.
Very recently, we made it official and purchased the home. We were given the unique opportunity to test drive the home by renting it before we bought it. I think the plan might have backfired on my folks. Looks like my parents are stuck with us. Just another reminder to “be careful what you wish for!”